One Last Chance
by allg0nemadd
Summary: Sirius Black has a plan to escape Azkaban, which is so-far foolproof. But before he leaves he must make one last visit: to his cousin Bellatrix. History remembered leaves them in an awkward state that leads to Sirius' murder. Hints at blackcest, so M-ratd
1. Turning Time

**The Obligatory Spiel**: _All characters belong to their respective creators; I am only playing with them. Thanks for reading, and as always, R&R!_

_**WARNING: **__This fic contains adult content, including hints at cousincest. If this disturbs you, PLEASE DO NOT READ IT. This was written for FUN and is not to be taken seriously. Reviews are appreciated, but flames are not. If you have a problem with it, forget you read it and move on. We are all entitled to our own stories. Thanks for reading!_  


His breath shone in the frigid air, light and airy puffs of white against the black of his cell walls. Suppressing a shiver, he crawled to the wide open window. The sky was frozen, swirled with whites, greys and blues all mixed together in layers of cold. Black spots dotted the far skies, and Sirius allowed himself to shiver, though it had little to do with the cold. Dementors hovered almost everywhere outside. They were not close enough to see or feel, but he knew that the darkness of the sky and the crispness of the air had a lot to do with them.

Leaning back against the cold, mossy stone of the wall he reconsidered his plan. He was aware that no one had escaped Azkaban before. Everyone knew it. But Sirius had never considered himself 'everyone'. He thought of the boy. Innocent and pure, he would not survive another year if he was to be on his own. Sirius had nothing to lose by escaping; death no longer frightened him. If he was to be killed, let it be. He only wished he had a way to let Harry Potter know that he was his godfather, that he cared about him, and that he was _not_ the murdering tyrant that had sent Lily and James to their graves.

Deciding it was pointless to linger on it, Sirius took a breath of icy air and moved to the front of his cell. Without his wand this was to be tricky. He did not have many possessions on him, but the one he did have he had kept close to his heart, sewn inside his shirt pocket and cleverly charmed to appear invisible. It had been on him the night he was arrested, and he felt relived that he had thought to prepare. After shedding his itchy woolen Azkaban robe and replacing it with his old clothes, he felt a sense of freedom already. His scabbed and dirt-coated hand slid into his shirt, feeling the bulge of metal next to his breast. Though invisible to the eye, he knew it was there.

He eased it up out of his pocket, feeling around the smooth edges. It felt just as he remembered it, though he had only once used it before. The Black family time-turner had been passed down through generations, though it was always taught that it was to only be used in dire times of need, and not for frivolity. Sirius couldn't think of a more dire time.

His blackened thumbnail traced along the edge, though it looked as though it were merely caressing the air. He felt the top for the button, and with careful ease winded it back three full turns. Three hours… yes, that must be right. Gradually his surroundings began to fade, then turned into a washed-out blur of colour and light, and he felt as if he were being pulled by a hook from his chest. Trying not to cry out, he gritted his teeth until finally he felt the ground again.

Though not bright, the window held more light than it had moments earlier, and he could hear chattering and other noises from outside his cell. A glance around showed him that he had not yet woken, just as he had planned. He stepped cautiously over himself as he moved to the far side of the wall, just next to the door and hidden in the shadows. He wondered how long he would have to wait, hoping he had not missed his oppertunity. He felt himself shiver, the anticipation driving him mad.

A sound drew his attention to the door, a clattering noise, like that of old wood landing upon stone. His evening meal had arrived. He remembered this noise. The other Sirius twitched in his sleep, and he knew it was almost time. The other Sirius sat up immediately, looking towards the door. Sirius shirked away from his gaze, hiding in the shadows, and the other Sirius, with a sharp intake of breath, began to howl and scream in agony. Taking a breath, the hiding Sirius waited anxiously, watching the door. With one swooping motion, it opened, and in floated a lone Dementor. Sirius waited until it swooped past him to attend to his screaming other, and then transformed.

Black fur replaced his skin, his nose grew wet and cold, and claws came from his fingers. He felt himself shrinking, and then he was on all fours on the floor, his vision and hearing more acute than they had been moments before. He watched for a second as the Dementor looked down upon Sirius, and Sirius' eyes opened once, winked towards the dog, and then went back to his fit. Sirius remembered having his fake fit hours earlier, and winking at himself in the future. All was going according to plan.

The dog Sirius slinked out the door, finding the shadows as he made his way slowly down the hall. Dementors were not particularly bright when it came to beings other than humans, and Sirius knew that he would be much harder to find in his canine form. He made it down two corridors before he even saw a Dementor, and even then, the Dementor was moving away from him. But it was not the Dementors that he was looking for. He remembered seeing the pale white face outside his door after the Dementor could not subdue him from his fit. He knew that any moment the Auror that said face belonged to would come walking down this passageway to see what all the commotion was about, and he knew that the Auror would have a wand.

Sure enough, as he stood hidden in a doorway, the very Auror he could remember seing ouside his cell came down the hallway, wand at the ready. Sirius realized that he would have to be quick, and also that he could not do this without making a sacrifice or two. Readying himself by balancing on his haunches, he waited. The Auror looked frightened at the sound of Sirius' screams, which still echoed down the corridors. He was now in front of the doorway, and Sirius took one giant leap, knocking the Auror down and taking his arm between his jaws. The Auror let out a shriek, but Sirius had already knocked his wand out of his hand.

Sirius transformed, knowing he had to be quick. The Auror looked thunderstruck as Sirius whispered harshly "_Petrificus totalus_!" The Auror went stiff as a board, and Sirius transformed again, grabbing the hem of the Auror's robes in his teeth and dragging him to the shadowed doorway where he would not be seen. He then took the wand between his teeth and quickly set off again. He could almost taste the air outside… He could feel the cold grass beneath his paws and smell the dirt. He was close. Very close.

As he turned another corner and made his way down a steep staircase, he smiled inside. He, Sirius Black, was going to pull this off! He started down another dimly lit corridor, the sconces casting shadows against the old the bricks. He had seen this hall before. Or at least heard of it. He padded by a few doors, the wood of which looked rotted and dry. He reached the last door at the end of the corridor before turning down another staircase that would lead him to the underground dungeons where he could tunnel out. He hesitated at this door. He knew it from his dreams, and from hearing about it, reading about it and talking about it.

He gazed down the staircase longingly, knowing that his freedom was only an hour or so's dig away, but he could not bring himself to descend it. Not just yet. First, he had to make a stop.

Slowly he moved towards the door, looking down the corridor for Dementors. The passages were hauntingly empty at night, but this is how he needed it. He silently transformed, letting the wand fall from his jaws and clatter to the floor. His human hand reached down for it, picking it up slowly and wiping off drool on his pants. He stood before the door, eying the rotting wood and rusted metal bars of the window. He glanced inside, but the darkness was thick.

He felt himself hesitating about doing this, knowing that it could very well bring about his downfall and ruin his plans, but knew he would not regret it. Taking an inhaling breath, he pointed the wand to the lock on the door, and whispered gently, "_Alohamora_."

_**TBC**_


	2. His Regret

_Thanks for reading! Response always appreciated._

**Chapter 2**

The lock clicked and the door swung open with an ominous creak. Sirius hesitated in the doorway, but knew he should get out of the corridor before he was sighted. Gripping his stolen wand, he entered, closing and locking the door behind him.

This cell was not much different from his own, though the view of outside was facing the opposite direction. Still, Dementors floated merely feet away in the sky, watching the perimeter of the castle for disturbances. His eyes moved from their unsettling forms to the wall next to him. He could scarcely see in the enveloping darkness, and raised his wand to illuminate it, but as he did, he was shoved to the ground from behind.

He cried out in surprise, and turned to view his assailant, but hardly had time before a dark figure was on top of him, scratching at his face and pinning him to the ground with boney knees.

"Bella!" Sirius shouted, hoping the din would not attract Dementors. "Bella stop! It's me!"

The figure released her grip on his neck and sat up, still on top of him. She seemed to be studying him in the darkness.

"It's me!" Sirius repeated. "Sirius…"

The woman scoffed lightly, then crawled off of him. Reaching for his wand, which had fallen out of his hand, Sirius hoped he was free from being attacked again. He scooted back against the wall and whispered, "_Lumos!" _

The tip of his wand brightened, glowing magically in the dark cell. He extended his arm to where she was sitting across from him. She glared at the light, squinting her eyes and turning away from it. He studied her for a moment, with only partial recognition. Her hair was frizzy as usual, but her face was much thinner and a few shades paler than the last time he had seen her. Not only that, but she had matured from the young girl he had known to a woman, her cheekbones much more pronounced and her eyes older. She seemed to be studying him back, her eyes searching over his face for a remnant of the boy he used to be.

"You've grown up," Bella said, a slight tinge of contempt in her voice.

Sirius, relieved she was finally talking to him, let himself smile at her. "As have you," he said politely.

She scoffed again, dropping her head. "Why've you come here then? I wasn't aware prisoners were allowed to visit each other," she said to the floor.

Sirius pondered his explanation, but nothing seemed delicate enough. "I'm leaving," he said simply.

Bella looked up, her eyebrows creased. "Leaving?" The corners of her mouth turned up and she began to laugh. "Leaving!? Leaving Azkaban!? Are you mad?"

Sirius hoped her cackling would not be heard, and put up his hand to stifle her. She stopped laughing, but still grinned maliciously.

"What are you doing here then? Shouldn't you be on your way?" Bella asked.

Sirius nodded. "Yes, I should. But I had to stop."

"Why? Am I supposed to be of help to you or something?" Bella said harshly.

"No," replied Sirius, taking a deep breath. "I was going to bring you with me."

Bella's large eyes grew larger, and she looked frightened. Sirius worried. He remembered his cousin being prone to sudden changes in attitude, but he had hoped that she wouldn't be angered by his proposal.

"Go with you?" Bella whispered. "Why would I do that?"

Sirius was slightly taken aback by this response. After all, it was not every day one was offered a chance to escape prison.

"Look," Sirius started. "I know you can't transform, but I can help you get through to the outside, then you can apparate to wherever it is you need to go."

Bella was already shaking her head. "Where do you think I need to go, dear cousin?"

Sirius shook his head, completely unsure where his Death Eater cousin intended to go once freed from Azkaban; he hadn't thought about this. "I don't know, and I really don't care. I'm sure you have… business somewhere that you must attend to."

"Business?" Bella said, sitting up and moving towards him. "Yes, business. And you are aware who it is I work for, don't you?"

Her eyes were practically glowing as she brought up her 'business'. Sirius recognized this glow, from one of their last encounters, and did not particularly like it. It was the glow that she always got when she talked about He-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named. It was the glow that had barged into her and taken out the innocent, happy girl inside and replaced her with a malicious, crazed one. Sirius knew she didn't have a wand, but still feared he was treading on thin ice.

"Bella," he started. "I know your business, or at least who it is you work for, but that is of little concern to me right now. I have- obligations of my own."

"Why are you doing this?" Bella asked him, seeming to get antsy sitting. "We haven't spoken for ages."

Sirius knew she would ask this question, as he himself had asked it many times prior to this night. He had many answers, but decided on the one he had practiced the most. "I'm doing it," he said lightly, "Because you are family."

"Family?" Bella was now pacing the small room, her dirtied robes falling off her shoulder. "That seems a strange reason for anyone to do anything. After all, we're not exactly that close, Sirius."

"We were," Sirius said it before he decided if he wanted to. He hoped it would not hit her too hard, but it did. She turned abruptly, a scowl stabbing through her features.

"That's it then?!" She said. "That's why you're here?! Hoping we can just start all over again! Sirius, really. You should be ashamed for even thinking so!"

Sirius felt his heart pounding. He hated to admit it, but his cousin scared him. She always had, but never worse than when she joined the Dark Lord. He knew their history would make this night hard to bear, but he also knew that his soon-to-be freedom would make up for this.

"I don't intend to "start over" with you, Bellatrix," he said sternly. "I just- I feel like I owe you something."

Sirius averted his gaze, but he could still feel hers. He heard her bare feet stepping towards him, and she kneeled. A long-nailed finger tilted his chin up, and he was looking into her eyes. "Nothing," she said coldly. "Could make up for that."

Sirius kept his eyes on hers, knowing to back away from her now would be rude, and not help his cause. "Perhaps not, but I needed to clear my conscience for my own sake… whether you go with me or not."

"So you don't even care?" Bella said, a hint of hurt in her voice. "You're only here to say you did?"

They glared at each other for a moment, before Bella let go of his chin and crawled to the wall. Curling up like a cat, she laid atop her blanket. Sirius looked at her small figure, remembering summers outside under the shade of great trees. He remembered forts built out of chairs and blankets, prank frogs in dresser drawers and splatters of paint on stone floors. When had it all changed?

Slowly he crawled towards her, carefully putting his hand on her small shoulder. She did not flinch.

"Bella, we were kids," Sirius said, gazing down on her. Her eyes were closed, but she was obviously listening. Her eyebrows flicked at 'kids'. "I didn't know what I was doing."

She did not reply, but Sirius did not expect her to. He eased himself to the ground, lying behind her. "I never meant to hurt you."

"He never hurts me," Bella whispered unexpectedly.

Sirius sat up, confused. "Who?"

"The Dark Lord," she said quietly. "He never hurts me. That is why I am loyal to him. I can trust him."

Sirius found her statement hard to believe. How could the Dark Lord, so vicious and merciless, never hurt or punish Bella? But something in her voice made him believe it, and he suddenly felt lower than Voldemort himself. He had never inflicted physical pain on her, but he knew that the emotional pain was the kind that really affected Bella. She could scrape her knees and break her bones and never shed a tear, but inside she ruptured easily.

"Bella can you ever forgive me?" Sirius asked, his voice no longer addressing a stranger, but a long lost best friend.

"I can forget," Bella said. "I have."

Sirius hoped her confidence was real. His hand patted at her shoulder, and she rolled onto her back to look back up at him. "You really had me fooled Sirius," she said, looking as if tears would spill from her eyes any moment.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"You made me believe you when you said you loved me," Bella said. "I thought it was for real. Real love, like the kind they always tell you you're supposed to find."

"You were young, confused," said Sirius. "We both were. We didn't know it was wrong."

"But we did!" Bella said, a tear running down her temple. "We must have, but we ignored it. Or rather _you_ ignored it."

"Me?!" Sirius said. "You think it was _all _me?"

"It must have been," Bella said. "I hardly participated."

Sirius' mind flashed back to that afternoon. He recalled her lying underneath him in his bed. He remembered the silence, profound and uncanny. He remembered the expression on her face as he got out of the bed, pulled on his trousers quickly and muttered about it getting late. But worst of all, he remembered her silence at dinner that evening. The stoic and grave expression on her pale young face was _still _engraved in his mind.

It _had_ been all him.

_**TBC**_


	3. Whatever Has Happened, Whatever Will

_Again, thanks for the response. This is the final chapter._

**Chapter 3**

Guilt washed over Sirius like none he'd felt before. He had never let it sink in, nor had he paid much attention to it, but the dark seed in his past had grown into a knotted root and was slowly beginning to strangle him. His life was full of regrets; therefore a little thing that he had done when he was a teenager hardly seemed worth dwelling on, especially when he and Bella lost touch after going their separate ways. But now it haunted him again, and much worse than before.

She hadn't said much the morning they parted. The awkwardness had faded significantly, but never quite disappeared. They had gone from best friends to close acquaintances; their late nights staying up telling ghost stories turned into quiet evenings of polite but awkward chatter, and they had not felt comfortable being too close to each other. Sirius had been terrified she would tell someone what had happened, that she would blame him completely, though she had as much to do with it as him.

He remembered her sly, shy smile as they talked about kissing. He had boasted of kissing many girls, but she had rolled her eyes, disbelieving every word. He wasn't sure how they ended up kissing, but somehow it turned out that way. Sirius hadn't thought about it at the time. She was familiar to him. He felt comfortable around her, contrary to how he felt around other girls at school. He never imagined, and could not control, where the kissing soon led. He wondered if he could blame the innocence of youth, but knew that somehow he should have known better.

But shouldn't she have as well?

Sirius sat up in the cold cell. He was completely unsure what to say next. Bella lay beside him, her eyes closed and her breathing soft. He wondered if this was to be the end. He saw the bright, colourful euphoria of his youth dissolving into a sky dark with thunderclouds. Maybe it was supposed to be this way.

"Maybe I should go," Sirius' voice was scarcely a whisper, but echoed off the bare walls.

Bella opened her eyes and sat up, looking oddly focused. "Maybe you should. Should be morning soon. Wouldn't want the Dementors to catch you in here."

Sirius could have stood and left right then, but something prevented him. If this was to be the last time he saw his cousin, he wanted it to last a bit longer.

A lone chair stood beneath the far window, and Sirius walked slowly over to it and sat, gazing out the window at the colourless grey sky.

"Where have the colours gone?" He whispered to the night.

Bella stood and walked slowly to the window, her eyes on Sirius. "Have you said everything you needed to say?"

He turned at her question. "I…" he started. "I suppose I have."

She seemed irked, her features expectant and disappointed. "Well this has been fun, Sirius, but I really should get back to being shut-in. And I know you've got places to go."

She walked off quickly, beginning to pace the wall.

"What do you want me to say, Bella?!" Sirius stood. "I said sorry, didn't I? I offered you escape from this prison! What more do you want from me? I would think you would _want_ me to disappear so that you would never see me again."

"I do! That is why I just suggested you leave and go about your business!" She spat. "I don't even know why you came here. I was perfectly fine by myself in here, rotting away and waiting."

"Waiting for what?" Sirius stepped closer to her. "For Him?! Bella you have to get away from this. You are not evil. I know you! You can still have a life, still have happiness."

She turned swiftly, her face furious. "I _am_ happy," she said gravely. "I told you I am happier than I have ever been."

"Happy with a man that is incapable of loving any but himself?" Sirius said.

"Better than being in love with my own cousin!" Bella all but screamed. "Sirius why do you keep on at me? Are you jealous!?"

Sirius scoffed. "Jealous!? Of Voldemort?" Bella cringed at his name, and Sirius rolled his eyes. "The only reason I keep on at you is because- because I never forgot about you."

Bella's face changed from anger to confusion and she stood stiffly as Sirius spoke.

"When the rest of the family went on with their lives, and after you left and joined You-Know-Who, I never forgot about you. I worried at every moment. Worried that you would be killed by him, worried that you would be arrested. I hated myself for being so concerned, since we were so different and on such opposite sides, but I love you Bella. When I said that to you, I meant it."

Bella's lip quivered and she looked ready to cry again. "You're evil," she whispered. "There cannot be that kind of love between cousins.'

"No, not that kind of love!" Sirius said. "I loved you as a best friend. I am sorry that we were involved inappropriately, and I'm sorry I am against the Dark Lord, and I am sorry I bothered you tonight, but I am not sorry for loving you. You were my best friend."

For a flash of a second, Bella looked as if she were eighteen again. He saw the girl she once was; he saw his best friend. But as quickly as it had come, it left. It was his imagination. He knew that girl was gone, and with her, the love he once had. He knew there was to be no more of the good times.

Bella dropped her head and mumbled something. Sirius thought he heard the last bit. "…cannot go back."

He knew enough had been said. He turned to the window again, checking the sky for the sun. A lightening glow was indeed blooming on the horizon.

"I'll be off then," whispered Sirius, then almost inaudibly he repeated, "I'm sorry."

Bella looked at him intently as he passed her on his way to the door. He felt arms wrap around his waist and pull him back. He braced himself, expecting to be tackled again. Instead, she turned him to face her, and with a teary face she embraced him. Her hair tickled his chin. He held her against him for a moment, hoping she understood how sorry he truly was.

"I am sorry too," she said into his chest. "For whatever has happened, and whatever will happen."

Sirius pondered this for a moment, knowing that Voldemort's return was inevitable. But whether he died this night or many years from now, he didn't think he was afraid any more.

She let go of him, turning instantly and walking to the window without a single glance. She sat down in the chair, staring outside.

Sirius looked at his feet, and having postponed his words long enough, he spoke clearly to her. "Goodbye, Bella," he said, his wand shaking slightly in his hand.

She did not turn back around, and did not speak her goodbye, but this suited him.

He unlocked to door with a click, opened it, and took one last glance back at her darkened silhouette in the window. Though the sun was rising high and beautifully in the sky, Sirius could hear thunder in his heart.


End file.
